Who Our Children Become

There is a saying: your children become who you are, so be who you want them to be. I saw this recently, and it got me thinking. I don't think that saying is true in every case, but that's a whole other matter. I started thinking what would happen if Gracie became like me. Do I really want Gracie growing up to be like me? There are parts of me that I'd love her to have, but equally there are some, that I don't want her to have. Like my negative thoughts about my image for example, mainly my body. Yes, my body, the body that helped produce and carry a baby for 9 months, the body that allows me to do everything that I need to for this beautiful little person. The same body that I use and abuse every day, and it still does it's thing. I pick holes in it, and find fault in it, instead of focusing on all the wonderful things it can do. How crazy is that?! Sadly I'm not alone, I have lots of friends and family who do the very same. It's endemic! All too often my attention is on the appearance of my body rather than it's function. I've got a terrible mindset, and although some of that is my own doing, it's not a wonder really, we are surrounded by negative views about body image. It's all around us, and while you can't always control the negative thoughts and ideas others impart on your children, you should try to control the ones that you impart. We are all different, we aren't robots, or clones, and we shouldn't all conform to a set standard on looks and body image. We should not all be trying to obtain a set look, just because certain people tout it as being what is right. Yes, I agree we ought to look after these amazing bodies that we have been blessed with, but if you look after yours, and live in as healthy a way as you can, should it matter that your several sizes bigger than Jessie that stays down the road? No, it shouldn't (but it does to many people). It's a cliche, but size is just a number.


I firmly believe that being truly healthy requires a healthy mindset as well as physical health. Just because you can't weigh it on the scales, doesn't make it less important. After all, it's a viscous cycle, you dislike what you see in the mirror, you get upset, you see someone who you wish you were like, you get more upset, you eat, you feel crap, you gain weight, you feel crap and so it goes on (I appreciate that it's not as cut and dry as that, but that's just my feelings on the matter). I really don't believe that having a bad mindset is a healthy way to live your life. What kind of a world are we living in when your child is sitting eating their dinner, but you're not having any because you had a fat day yesterday. That's no example to set to your child. I don't want Gracie to ever think that that's right. I also never want to hear her refer to herself as fat, yes, we humans have fat in our bodies, but we also have bones in our bones, yet we don't refer to ourselves as bones. I shudder at the thought of hearing those words leave her mouth. I hear it come out of too many people's mouths, and they aren't always referring to themselves. What chance do you stand when you're calling yourself names, and other people are doing it to you too?! But then, if you don't have any respect for yourself, how can you expect other people to have respect for you.


 So, I'm making a commitment to improve my health, but not just loosing pounds here and there. Yes, I want to have a more healthy diet, and improving my fitness will benefit not just me, but my family. But, far more important than that, I'm going to ditch the negative mindset (I don't think that you can make positive changes to your diet and fitness with that mindset anyway), and I'm ditching anyone who makes me feel like a crappy version of myself.  I hope that with a bit of self confidence, and recognition of the amazing things that our bodies can do, I might manage to save my daughter from becoming the person I have been for too many years.

 

I hope that this hasn't been too negative a post to be putting on here, because I do like to keep things positive, but it is sometimes good to share feelings about these things. As always, comments/tips and suggestions are welcome.

Thanks for reading, Kirsty x